Sour Grapes?
Apparently there's one last post left in the Red Velvet series. Also apparent is that I don't know what I'm doing in the sewing room or when printing PDFs, and that everything I found wrong (or disagreed with) is 100% my fault. I *do* know this isn't the best example of customer service/vendor response I've seen and that I won't be buying anymore from this company. I hope you have a better experience.
(I have no idea about the reference to something I "took down." Every post on this pattern remains in public view.)
Edited 11-20-13: I see today that StephC has now deleted all her comments from this post (which you can see the remnants of below), so I'm adding them back here because I think they belong as part of this original posting.
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Well, you spent an entire week laboring away at posts about how much you dislike my work, I considered it necessary to respond in some form. I chose to respond kindly and with actual knowledge/evidence to address your issues. I think that's pretty decent of me, and useful. I'm pleased you made this post, it means we get a chance to chat publicly about this, which is great.
You don't know more than me about sewing. I have been sewing at least twice as long as you have, and my exposure is wider. I don't see why I should ignore what you wrote. You were very obviously and deliberately calling me out, personally, however much you cloaked it in concern for the community and addressed me as "indie pattern designers." My name is Steph, pleased to meet you, Debbie.
If you care about the community, I suggest you find a way to fix pattern sizing and start a company of your own. Why not?
When I first read your posts (a week after they were published), I was *devastated* because I had in my head you were a sewing teacher. All I could think of was "How could I completely miss the mark with a teacher?" Much of the way I approach the work has to do with making the sewing accessible, to create the simplest/best sewing experience for relatively new sewists, based on continual observations in the classroom.
Then I realized you weren't a teacher and that your criticisms were either :
1)difference of opinion (not a big deal, but please don't act like your opinion is gospel because I'll roll my eyes super hard. Circular neckline binding is hard for beginners/ints to handle so it's symmetrical, and it’s boring to me to write and teach binding again. Facings open up greater design options, when executed well).
2)lack of understanding about the process (we nested the bodices at first because it's cheaper to print, and rejected it because it was cluttered and crazy looking and difficult. We opted for clarity, even though it's more expensive to print and ship.)
3)your lack of skill. I'm sorry, your neckline gaped because you didn't follow the instructions. That's all. I am not trying to put you down, I am not taking out a bad day on you, and I did you the human courtesy of addressing you directly here. It is a simple statement of fact that the neckline gaped because you handled it poorly. That's not my fault.
Anyway I figured I could address some of your issues, through knowledge and explanation of techniques.
I am not unreasonable, I am not unkind, I am *excellent* at customer service, thankyouverymuch. Had you written me a *word* of an email, a whisper of an Etsy conversation, a tweet, ANYthing, I would have been right there to help you out with your concerns. You did not. Instead, you chose to do what you did here on your blog. That is fine and is your choice. I am helpful, I am good at what I do, I turn myself inside out to teach great sewing practices and get people making things, and I answer my customer service emails swiftly.
If you expect me to be obsequious on top of that, too bad.
Instead, you chose to do what you did without any notification to me. Somehow I'm a jerk? No way, friend.
I don't mind criticism, I don't mind being disagreed with. Check out pretty much *anything* I've ever written. Criticism makes the work better, and anyone who doesn't understand that is a nitwit. It was laughable what you wrote about owning up to mistakes. I do that, I have done it several times.
But here, I did not do anything except *gasp* defend myself in fairly mild terms. Is it also offensive that I have the temerity to say I know more about the way sewing/machines/stitches/sewists work than you do, after having taught hundreds upon hundreds of women to sew? I *can* say that, I earned it.
I am really happy to keep discussing but we're going to have a conversation like grown women, I’m not a catty girl who moons bitterly over sour grapes.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:31 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
"The key to a resilient seam in knits is building in as much thread as possible. There are many ways to do this. To declare there is only one way, or one best way, or only one way to teach beginners this concept is ridiculous and doing those beginners a disservice."
Absolutely. I could not agree more, and this is precisely my point. One of several. I teach beginners a certain way because I do it a lot. I know what tends to click easiest. Then, once we've built a basic skill set, we can diverge into finding the best options for the individual. But we have to start some place. :)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:35 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
But Rachel, I don't see how I was rude here. I responded clearly and constructively and directly.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:44 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Anon- I don't see that I attacked anyone personally. Was it my use of italics? I can tone that down, for sure. Instead, I see that I stood up for my work. I am not Burda, I am not Vogue, I am a person who cares about good and useful sewing who also makes patterns.
Why is it offensive that I address issues that arise, publicly when called for? I don't mind someone disagreeing with me, I rather like it, but there were things written here that needed to be addressed because they are either differences of opinion or untrue.
I answered clearly and in the place where the issues were brought up. I did not choose to respond with a snippy series of blog posts or conjecture or personal attacks, but with demonstrations of solid sewing tecniques.
Is this not one of the criticisms against other pattern companies, that they are out of touch? That their techniques don't work? That learning to sew has such a huge steep learning curve thanks to the badly written/made big 4 patterns that it completely turns off excited new sewists?
I am not saying my methods and patterns are perfect, nothing is perfect, but I constantly strive to do better and I've been making patterns for *a year*. Give me five or ten and let's see how we can improve things to make sewing a viable part of 21st century living. That's what I'm saying.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 8:06 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Catherine- I did read the replies, and was rather surprised by the number of anon commentators (here I am, using my own name...) and also the personal attacks against me... Barbies? Are we being ageist? I didn't go there, and I don't see how it is relevant to the discussion.
No, I don't always do what the customer tells me to do. Yes, that does upset people sometimes. That is a far cry from not caring about my customers. No customer service has 100% satisfaction, but I resent being told I don't care about my customers. Me engaging publicly with criticisms and untruths about my work is me caring, especially when I can back up my words/opinions with actual solid sewing techniques and content I created.
This is not me being "up myself," though I can understand why it might come across as such to someone unfamiliar with the work I do, especially with a headline like this one. Fair enough. I assure you, I don't waste brain cells on sour grapes. I'm also curious what the grapes are in this particular scenario? That's unclear to me.
I haven't attacked anyone personally, I have been clear, direct, intelligent and occasionally used capital letters/italics. I am respectfully standing up for myself and for good work I believe in. I am engaging the community. Isn't that what we want from pattern makers, the thing that is not much done?
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 9:42 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Katie-
I see your point, absolutely. The thing is, I'm not corporate. I never will be. I'm indie. Along with being indie is the right/responsibility to seek out authenticity, to experiment, to change, to grow, to respond. And to have an opinion.
I have thought about it, quite a lot, about indie v corporate and what that means. I came to the conclusion that I can't ride two horses at the same time. I can not talk corporate and be indie. It is not going to work. I figure if I can back up my words with deeds (or in-depth technique videos) and engage honestly and openly, then that's what I would do.
I think I made a mistake earlier on in trying too hard to "sound" corporate, because it's not what I am. Trying too hard to be something I'm not was blocking me every time I turned around, as an artist and an educator. I was trying to do things "by the book." But the thing is, there is not a book for this, for what we're doing. So I choose to engage as a human being, extending the benefit of the doubt as much as possible and never responding to things in anger. Because I am a human being and because y'all are too. Respect.
Twitter is a cheeky, rough and tumble place. If I can't have a sense of humor about things like this on Twitter, then when can I? Does Debbie have a fledgling brand I have damaged unfairly with my remarks?
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 10:56 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Well, I think we can agree to disagree about whether I'm corporate. Technically, my business is registered as a Sole Trader and not a corporation. I'm not Vogue.
I'm not holier than anyone (is this because I refuse to comment anonymously with catty ageist remarks?), but I'm also not going to ignore it when someone calls me out so publicly about something I am sure about. I can see how my self-assurance might be perceived as arrogance but that's not who I am. Don't worry, people have been trying to take me down a peg or two since I was a small kid. I'm used to it, tough hide and all. :)
Also, I haven't ever threatened anyone (as you just did me), just calmly defended myself. So. There's that..
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 11:33 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey, Audrey, I absolutely agree with you. I think I come off a little snotty here between the colorful title Debbie chose (seriously, what are the grapes?) and my refusal to stoop to anonymous personal attacks. That's unfortunate but unavoidable, given the circumstances.
I agree with you that it's important to build trust and a relationship with one's students. That's what I do, in the classroom and online. I take my students' sewing seriously and go to great effort to do everything in my power to respond thoughtfully to emails, Etsy messages, Flickr comments, sewingcake comments, facebook and twitter, even when that means I sit in front of the computer typing for hours on end. I skype to sort out sewing issues, too.
That is why I was surprised by such a concentrated blogging effort on Debbie's part, and the fact my customer service has been called into question.
I am not yet able to read minds, unfortunately. If I had had an email, a word, I would have been right there to sort out the issues and check things, to be kind and helpful and responsive. But I was never extended any such opportunity and had to see my work unfairly criticized before the ink had even dried. Fair enough, but there were several things mentioned that are not actual issues on the pattern.
Really, truly, I don't do sarcasm. It's a nasty, mean little beast that terrifies me and translates weirdly from America to Australia so I gave it up a while ago. (These aussies' sarcasm is one a whole other plane and I just can't keep up so I opt out...:))
I honestly like Debbie's dresses and think they turned out beautifully well in both instances.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 11:45 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Jennifer-
My comments were useful, they are linked to content that will help improve the sewing. If someone left me those comments, I'd check it out and see what was what. I can admit when I don't know something, and do on a regular basis. I might even tweet out or feature good tutorials that improve the sewing, because the sewing is what matters to me.
But I don't think I've ever had a comment like that before, to be honest, because I don't spend weeks at a time blogging non-stop about how much I hate a particular thing. I focus on building up and spotlighting positive things.
I'm curious if you checked out my investigation of straight v knit stitch? I approached it with an open mind, not hiding what I was doing, and clearly showing the results. I also said repeatedly that you have to do what works for you in your sewing room.
I say that all the time, repeatedly, and it's also written into most of what I publish. I don't see myself as a dictator or whatever, I see my role as a facilitator and I take that seriously. And I'm protective about my new sewists.
I don't mind if you use straight and like it, it's your sewing and your sewing room. It's not wrong. But in the majority of cases, it's not right either. That's what I'm getting at. :)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 11:51 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Thanks, Audrey. Maybe just maybe we can get a group hug in sometime. ;)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 12:20 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Unknown- Yeah, the thing is, I'm not in an ivory tower, I'm being forcibly locked in one and I'm standing at the top of it hollering bloody murder out the window that I don't have the slightest desire to be there. But I guess all you hear is the shouting....
Debbie taught me to put in fly zips and I held her in extremely high regard for many years, directing people to her excellent tutorial at every opportunity and raving about the quality of her teaching.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 12:23 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Diana-
I... Didn't say anything of the sort. I actually said (and sincerely meant) that I like the dresses, they're great and I have learned techniques here in the past.
I never blamed Debbie for any kind of sloppiness. The fact is that her reporting of the "errata" was inaccurate. I have a right to point that out.
There's plenty of people from a variety of age groups who sew Cake. It's lovely, and this kind of kerfuffle doesn't happen. I am at a loss about why this keeps becoming an issue of age, am I really so threatening? Why is that?
OH! Hamster power! I love it! Mine was too, a very temperamental but solid Kenmore thing in a "harvest wheat" kind of color... :) I wonder what happened to it...
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 12:41 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Sure I do, and I appreciate your concern. *They* are also concerned and wish I would learn to keep my fool mouth shut and told me so. Flip is not indeed my intent, I'm quite open to a constructive and clear dialog, and I knew by posting I'd get the chance to chat about things. I think it's likely a communication style issue, that's kind of you. I tend to call a spade a spade and get on with life, and yes, I know that gets me misunderstood sometimes. I definitely could have phrased my comments that were posted above in a softer way, absolutely. At least I didn't threaten anyone, right? :)
I didn't say never! :) Not at all, that's the thing.... If it works for you do it. But- it's not really a good default, it's not safe. I like to play it safe for my newbies, I figure ints-advanced can and will do exactly as they please, but if I beginner tries to sew something and it falls apart, she may well walk away from sewing forever and that's the part that bothers me. I've seen/heard it happen too often, and to be perfectly honest it's why I'm doing what I'm doing. To get people to love the sewing, and not fear it.
I didn't want to start a pattern company, fwiw, I did it because I saw a galling gap between the types of clothes people wear and the ones we're offered to stitch. (No, I don't think all other patterns are bad, that's not what I'm saying..But there *is* a definite yawning gap.) I did it because people kept telling me I should. I did it to keep busy. I did it because I figured I could make a difference in sewing rooms and stoke the fires of the 21st century sewing revival. I did it because I have devoted hours and hours of my life to "translating" poor instructions for people in classes as I taught them the art of pattern surgery.
People get to thinking that sewing is a really really hard thing to learn, some kind of almost magical skill and it's not. The learning curve is really steep at the beginning due to the way 20th century sewing is set up, and I don't think it has to be. Sewing is a skill that a LOT of people put to use for thousands of years, and it's joy. Like cooking, really. Everyone eats, everyone wears clothes.
I did not start Cake because I'm an ego-maniac or a starry eyed idealist or an ivory-tower dweller or a jerk or whatever may be thought of me.
It's far too much hard work to keep going with only that as a motivator. :)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 3:15 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Well, I didn't see that as a remark on age but on experience in a particular field, but ok, I see what you mean. I did not mean "shut up, I'm better" at all. I did very much mean "if you sew it this way, your neckline won't gape." Because... It won't. Like you said I said, I respect the work Debbie has done especially in the area of fly fronts. I can't tell you how many newbs I sent there over the years.
Like a little child? Point taken. How should I respond in the future to a similar situation, so as not to be so childish? Not responding at all doesn't work for me. Is it the italics and the capital letters? I am not being sarcastic, I want to know.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 4:06 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Fourkid- I am so humbled that you took the time to craft those responses. Thank you.
I *do* want to track down all the bugs. They annoy the living daylights out of me because they get in the way of the sewing. I brought an editor on board.
When I saw the errata posted here I was sick about it and assumed Debbie was right. Because why wouldn't she be?
I dropped everything I was doing to go check, only to find next to nothing, and to see my customers worrying and upset themselves here unnecessarily.
There *is* a small difference between the midriff and the bodice, but it is less than a seam allowance. I checked the pattern when I saw the post, and found nothing like what was mentioned except a 4mm difference in the bodice lengths when laid out end to end as she did. When cut, this is not a huge difference and not when the pieces are laid on top of each other for seaming.
I knew the pattern would be alright when it arrived and hoped no one dumped RV in the bin without opening her up. Besides, I'd been advised to let this alone.
I'm learning what you mean about fast response off the cuff, and will go to bed and then go work.
Thank you again for the wording suggestions.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:23 AM, November 18, 2013
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(I have no idea about the reference to something I "took down." Every post on this pattern remains in public view.)
Edited 11-20-13: I see today that StephC has now deleted all her comments from this post (which you can see the remnants of below), so I'm adding them back here because I think they belong as part of this original posting.
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Well, you spent an entire week laboring away at posts about how much you dislike my work, I considered it necessary to respond in some form. I chose to respond kindly and with actual knowledge/evidence to address your issues. I think that's pretty decent of me, and useful. I'm pleased you made this post, it means we get a chance to chat publicly about this, which is great.
You don't know more than me about sewing. I have been sewing at least twice as long as you have, and my exposure is wider. I don't see why I should ignore what you wrote. You were very obviously and deliberately calling me out, personally, however much you cloaked it in concern for the community and addressed me as "indie pattern designers." My name is Steph, pleased to meet you, Debbie.
If you care about the community, I suggest you find a way to fix pattern sizing and start a company of your own. Why not?
When I first read your posts (a week after they were published), I was *devastated* because I had in my head you were a sewing teacher. All I could think of was "How could I completely miss the mark with a teacher?" Much of the way I approach the work has to do with making the sewing accessible, to create the simplest/best sewing experience for relatively new sewists, based on continual observations in the classroom.
Then I realized you weren't a teacher and that your criticisms were either :
1)difference of opinion (not a big deal, but please don't act like your opinion is gospel because I'll roll my eyes super hard. Circular neckline binding is hard for beginners/ints to handle so it's symmetrical, and it’s boring to me to write and teach binding again. Facings open up greater design options, when executed well).
2)lack of understanding about the process (we nested the bodices at first because it's cheaper to print, and rejected it because it was cluttered and crazy looking and difficult. We opted for clarity, even though it's more expensive to print and ship.)
3)your lack of skill. I'm sorry, your neckline gaped because you didn't follow the instructions. That's all. I am not trying to put you down, I am not taking out a bad day on you, and I did you the human courtesy of addressing you directly here. It is a simple statement of fact that the neckline gaped because you handled it poorly. That's not my fault.
Anyway I figured I could address some of your issues, through knowledge and explanation of techniques.
I am not unreasonable, I am not unkind, I am *excellent* at customer service, thankyouverymuch. Had you written me a *word* of an email, a whisper of an Etsy conversation, a tweet, ANYthing, I would have been right there to help you out with your concerns. You did not. Instead, you chose to do what you did here on your blog. That is fine and is your choice. I am helpful, I am good at what I do, I turn myself inside out to teach great sewing practices and get people making things, and I answer my customer service emails swiftly.
If you expect me to be obsequious on top of that, too bad.
Instead, you chose to do what you did without any notification to me. Somehow I'm a jerk? No way, friend.
I don't mind criticism, I don't mind being disagreed with. Check out pretty much *anything* I've ever written. Criticism makes the work better, and anyone who doesn't understand that is a nitwit. It was laughable what you wrote about owning up to mistakes. I do that, I have done it several times.
But here, I did not do anything except *gasp* defend myself in fairly mild terms. Is it also offensive that I have the temerity to say I know more about the way sewing/machines/stitches/sewists work than you do, after having taught hundreds upon hundreds of women to sew? I *can* say that, I earned it.
I am really happy to keep discussing but we're going to have a conversation like grown women, I’m not a catty girl who moons bitterly over sour grapes.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:31 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
"The key to a resilient seam in knits is building in as much thread as possible. There are many ways to do this. To declare there is only one way, or one best way, or only one way to teach beginners this concept is ridiculous and doing those beginners a disservice."
Absolutely. I could not agree more, and this is precisely my point. One of several. I teach beginners a certain way because I do it a lot. I know what tends to click easiest. Then, once we've built a basic skill set, we can diverge into finding the best options for the individual. But we have to start some place. :)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:35 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
But Rachel, I don't see how I was rude here. I responded clearly and constructively and directly.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:44 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Anon- I don't see that I attacked anyone personally. Was it my use of italics? I can tone that down, for sure. Instead, I see that I stood up for my work. I am not Burda, I am not Vogue, I am a person who cares about good and useful sewing who also makes patterns.
Why is it offensive that I address issues that arise, publicly when called for? I don't mind someone disagreeing with me, I rather like it, but there were things written here that needed to be addressed because they are either differences of opinion or untrue.
I answered clearly and in the place where the issues were brought up. I did not choose to respond with a snippy series of blog posts or conjecture or personal attacks, but with demonstrations of solid sewing tecniques.
Is this not one of the criticisms against other pattern companies, that they are out of touch? That their techniques don't work? That learning to sew has such a huge steep learning curve thanks to the badly written/made big 4 patterns that it completely turns off excited new sewists?
I am not saying my methods and patterns are perfect, nothing is perfect, but I constantly strive to do better and I've been making patterns for *a year*. Give me five or ten and let's see how we can improve things to make sewing a viable part of 21st century living. That's what I'm saying.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 8:06 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Catherine- I did read the replies, and was rather surprised by the number of anon commentators (here I am, using my own name...) and also the personal attacks against me... Barbies? Are we being ageist? I didn't go there, and I don't see how it is relevant to the discussion.
No, I don't always do what the customer tells me to do. Yes, that does upset people sometimes. That is a far cry from not caring about my customers. No customer service has 100% satisfaction, but I resent being told I don't care about my customers. Me engaging publicly with criticisms and untruths about my work is me caring, especially when I can back up my words/opinions with actual solid sewing techniques and content I created.
This is not me being "up myself," though I can understand why it might come across as such to someone unfamiliar with the work I do, especially with a headline like this one. Fair enough. I assure you, I don't waste brain cells on sour grapes. I'm also curious what the grapes are in this particular scenario? That's unclear to me.
I haven't attacked anyone personally, I have been clear, direct, intelligent and occasionally used capital letters/italics. I am respectfully standing up for myself and for good work I believe in. I am engaging the community. Isn't that what we want from pattern makers, the thing that is not much done?
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 9:42 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Katie-
I see your point, absolutely. The thing is, I'm not corporate. I never will be. I'm indie. Along with being indie is the right/responsibility to seek out authenticity, to experiment, to change, to grow, to respond. And to have an opinion.
I have thought about it, quite a lot, about indie v corporate and what that means. I came to the conclusion that I can't ride two horses at the same time. I can not talk corporate and be indie. It is not going to work. I figure if I can back up my words with deeds (or in-depth technique videos) and engage honestly and openly, then that's what I would do.
I think I made a mistake earlier on in trying too hard to "sound" corporate, because it's not what I am. Trying too hard to be something I'm not was blocking me every time I turned around, as an artist and an educator. I was trying to do things "by the book." But the thing is, there is not a book for this, for what we're doing. So I choose to engage as a human being, extending the benefit of the doubt as much as possible and never responding to things in anger. Because I am a human being and because y'all are too. Respect.
Twitter is a cheeky, rough and tumble place. If I can't have a sense of humor about things like this on Twitter, then when can I? Does Debbie have a fledgling brand I have damaged unfairly with my remarks?
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 10:56 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Well, I think we can agree to disagree about whether I'm corporate. Technically, my business is registered as a Sole Trader and not a corporation. I'm not Vogue.
I'm not holier than anyone (is this because I refuse to comment anonymously with catty ageist remarks?), but I'm also not going to ignore it when someone calls me out so publicly about something I am sure about. I can see how my self-assurance might be perceived as arrogance but that's not who I am. Don't worry, people have been trying to take me down a peg or two since I was a small kid. I'm used to it, tough hide and all. :)
Also, I haven't ever threatened anyone (as you just did me), just calmly defended myself. So. There's that..
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 11:33 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey, Audrey, I absolutely agree with you. I think I come off a little snotty here between the colorful title Debbie chose (seriously, what are the grapes?) and my refusal to stoop to anonymous personal attacks. That's unfortunate but unavoidable, given the circumstances.
I agree with you that it's important to build trust and a relationship with one's students. That's what I do, in the classroom and online. I take my students' sewing seriously and go to great effort to do everything in my power to respond thoughtfully to emails, Etsy messages, Flickr comments, sewingcake comments, facebook and twitter, even when that means I sit in front of the computer typing for hours on end. I skype to sort out sewing issues, too.
That is why I was surprised by such a concentrated blogging effort on Debbie's part, and the fact my customer service has been called into question.
I am not yet able to read minds, unfortunately. If I had had an email, a word, I would have been right there to sort out the issues and check things, to be kind and helpful and responsive. But I was never extended any such opportunity and had to see my work unfairly criticized before the ink had even dried. Fair enough, but there were several things mentioned that are not actual issues on the pattern.
Really, truly, I don't do sarcasm. It's a nasty, mean little beast that terrifies me and translates weirdly from America to Australia so I gave it up a while ago. (These aussies' sarcasm is one a whole other plane and I just can't keep up so I opt out...:))
I honestly like Debbie's dresses and think they turned out beautifully well in both instances.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 11:45 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Jennifer-
My comments were useful, they are linked to content that will help improve the sewing. If someone left me those comments, I'd check it out and see what was what. I can admit when I don't know something, and do on a regular basis. I might even tweet out or feature good tutorials that improve the sewing, because the sewing is what matters to me.
But I don't think I've ever had a comment like that before, to be honest, because I don't spend weeks at a time blogging non-stop about how much I hate a particular thing. I focus on building up and spotlighting positive things.
I'm curious if you checked out my investigation of straight v knit stitch? I approached it with an open mind, not hiding what I was doing, and clearly showing the results. I also said repeatedly that you have to do what works for you in your sewing room.
I say that all the time, repeatedly, and it's also written into most of what I publish. I don't see myself as a dictator or whatever, I see my role as a facilitator and I take that seriously. And I'm protective about my new sewists.
I don't mind if you use straight and like it, it's your sewing and your sewing room. It's not wrong. But in the majority of cases, it's not right either. That's what I'm getting at. :)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 11:51 PM, November 17, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Thanks, Audrey. Maybe just maybe we can get a group hug in sometime. ;)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 12:20 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Unknown- Yeah, the thing is, I'm not in an ivory tower, I'm being forcibly locked in one and I'm standing at the top of it hollering bloody murder out the window that I don't have the slightest desire to be there. But I guess all you hear is the shouting....
Debbie taught me to put in fly zips and I held her in extremely high regard for many years, directing people to her excellent tutorial at every opportunity and raving about the quality of her teaching.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 12:23 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Hey Diana-
I... Didn't say anything of the sort. I actually said (and sincerely meant) that I like the dresses, they're great and I have learned techniques here in the past.
I never blamed Debbie for any kind of sloppiness. The fact is that her reporting of the "errata" was inaccurate. I have a right to point that out.
There's plenty of people from a variety of age groups who sew Cake. It's lovely, and this kind of kerfuffle doesn't happen. I am at a loss about why this keeps becoming an issue of age, am I really so threatening? Why is that?
OH! Hamster power! I love it! Mine was too, a very temperamental but solid Kenmore thing in a "harvest wheat" kind of color... :) I wonder what happened to it...
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 12:41 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Sure I do, and I appreciate your concern. *They* are also concerned and wish I would learn to keep my fool mouth shut and told me so. Flip is not indeed my intent, I'm quite open to a constructive and clear dialog, and I knew by posting I'd get the chance to chat about things. I think it's likely a communication style issue, that's kind of you. I tend to call a spade a spade and get on with life, and yes, I know that gets me misunderstood sometimes. I definitely could have phrased my comments that were posted above in a softer way, absolutely. At least I didn't threaten anyone, right? :)
I didn't say never! :) Not at all, that's the thing.... If it works for you do it. But- it's not really a good default, it's not safe. I like to play it safe for my newbies, I figure ints-advanced can and will do exactly as they please, but if I beginner tries to sew something and it falls apart, she may well walk away from sewing forever and that's the part that bothers me. I've seen/heard it happen too often, and to be perfectly honest it's why I'm doing what I'm doing. To get people to love the sewing, and not fear it.
I didn't want to start a pattern company, fwiw, I did it because I saw a galling gap between the types of clothes people wear and the ones we're offered to stitch. (No, I don't think all other patterns are bad, that's not what I'm saying..But there *is* a definite yawning gap.) I did it because people kept telling me I should. I did it to keep busy. I did it because I figured I could make a difference in sewing rooms and stoke the fires of the 21st century sewing revival. I did it because I have devoted hours and hours of my life to "translating" poor instructions for people in classes as I taught them the art of pattern surgery.
People get to thinking that sewing is a really really hard thing to learn, some kind of almost magical skill and it's not. The learning curve is really steep at the beginning due to the way 20th century sewing is set up, and I don't think it has to be. Sewing is a skill that a LOT of people put to use for thousands of years, and it's joy. Like cooking, really. Everyone eats, everyone wears clothes.
I did not start Cake because I'm an ego-maniac or a starry eyed idealist or an ivory-tower dweller or a jerk or whatever may be thought of me.
It's far too much hard work to keep going with only that as a motivator. :)
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 3:15 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Well, I didn't see that as a remark on age but on experience in a particular field, but ok, I see what you mean. I did not mean "shut up, I'm better" at all. I did very much mean "if you sew it this way, your neckline won't gape." Because... It won't. Like you said I said, I respect the work Debbie has done especially in the area of fly fronts. I can't tell you how many newbs I sent there over the years.
Like a little child? Point taken. How should I respond in the future to a similar situation, so as not to be so childish? Not responding at all doesn't work for me. Is it the italics and the capital letters? I am not being sarcastic, I want to know.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 4:06 AM, November 18, 2013
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StephC has left a new comment on your post "Sour Grapes?":
Fourkid- I am so humbled that you took the time to craft those responses. Thank you.
I *do* want to track down all the bugs. They annoy the living daylights out of me because they get in the way of the sewing. I brought an editor on board.
When I saw the errata posted here I was sick about it and assumed Debbie was right. Because why wouldn't she be?
I dropped everything I was doing to go check, only to find next to nothing, and to see my customers worrying and upset themselves here unnecessarily.
There *is* a small difference between the midriff and the bodice, but it is less than a seam allowance. I checked the pattern when I saw the post, and found nothing like what was mentioned except a 4mm difference in the bodice lengths when laid out end to end as she did. When cut, this is not a huge difference and not when the pieces are laid on top of each other for seaming.
I knew the pattern would be alright when it arrived and hoped no one dumped RV in the bin without opening her up. Besides, I'd been advised to let this alone.
I'm learning what you mean about fast response off the cuff, and will go to bed and then go work.
Thank you again for the wording suggestions.
Posted by StephC to Stitches and Seams at 7:23 AM, November 18, 2013
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